"You lose someone and you never really are the same after that. I remember the day I lost her and the first selfish thought that came to my mind was, now I won’t have anyone to kiss me goodnight. As the years pass, you learn that losing someone soon becomes selfless rather than selfish. I’ve learned that losing her changed me as a person, it made me realize that my life is nothing without her in it. You become immune to love and you wonder why it ever failed with the one person you would have asked to be your wife. I remember how I felt the day I lost her, and sadly it’s more painful today than it was 4 years ago. I hear about her through friends and I see her pictures on social media. She is succeeding and happy with her life and there’s nothing I can do about it. I want to reach for her tell her I’m so proud of her. I want to be the one to give her hugs on days when she feels like giving up and I want to be the one to give her congratulation kisses when she’s in her triumphs. I want to be the one she comes running to when she’s happy, when she’s sad, when she just wants someone to love. You lose someone and you’re never really the same. I use be selfish and wonder how I could survive without her but now, now I’m selfless because all I care about is her. Her, her, her, I worry in the dark of the night and wonder if she could hear my thoughts from miles away. I want her to know that my chest hurts when her heart aches; I want her to know that she is the one regret in life. I don’t regret our love but I regret losing her and not fighting for her when I should have. You know, you lose someone and you’re never really the same after that because when she walks away, she walks away for good. She leaves a bit stronger because she now has a piece of you, a piece of you that you’ll never get back; a piece of you that will remind her not to fall in love with just another selfish idiot."
If only I was who I am now, then maybe she would have stayed (via h0pefulkid-withaninkedupheart)